About Kris
I've Been Where You Are
For years, I was the woman who smiled politely, fit into other people's worlds, and made myself smaller so I wouldn't be too much. I was the one who said yes when I meant no, who showed up for everyone else while I disappeared.
I was married to my daughter's father, playing the role of the supportive wife, the good mom, the one who kept everything together. But inside, I was drowning. I was giving everything I had to everyone else, and there was nothing left for me.
Sound familiar?
When I finally left that marriage, I thought I'd found someone who saw me—really saw me. Someone who had the potential to be more than who he was showing up as.
As It Turns Out
He was a covert narcissist, and he became my project while I lost myself in the process. I spent years trying to help him see his potential, to heal his wounds, to become the person I knew he could be. And in the process, I forgot who I was.
It was the perfect storm: he got to be my noble cause, and I got to disappear while 'helping' him become who I thought he could be. I was so focused on fixing him that I didn't notice I was the one who needed fixing.
That relationship taught me gold. It showed me how easy it was to give myself up for what looked like a noble cause—to focus on someone else's potential so I didn't have to face my own growth.
I can't do that anymore. And I don't want that for you either.
What I Learned (The Hard Way)
Through all of this—the marriage that didn't respect me, the partner who used me as a sounding board, the relationships where I gave everything and got nothing back—I learned something crucial.
We use things to distract ourselves from our own growth.
Sometimes it's a relationship. Sometimes it's a job. Sometimes it's staying busy with everyone else's problems so we don't have to face our own.
I also learned who's ready to receive help and who's not.
If you're willing to take responsibility for your part in the story, you're ready. If you're stuck in victim consciousness—spinning in what's called the drama triangle (victim, bully, rescuer)—you're not ready yet. And that's okay. Your salvation happens when you're willing to step outside that circle.
I can't force anyone to do that. But if you're ready? I can help you see the patterns you've been running, offer you a hand up, and walk with you through that next door—no matter how battered you feel right now.
How I Show Up For You
If you're willing to take responsibility for your part in the story, you're ready.
I can't force anyone to do that. But if you're ready? I can help you see the patterns you've been running, the ways you've been giving yourself away, and the places where you've been hiding from your own growth.